On Grandpa's Lap (Story of an Ex-Slave)

Joshua Gaylor was born in Mississippi in March of 1850 to Nathaniel Gaylor and Rosena (no indication of marriage). Joshua Gaylor is my great great great grandfather! I have never had the opportunity to meet him or even see him; for obvious reasons. So I began to use my imagination to formulate what he would look like, how he spoke, and the way in which he viewed himself and the world around him. I imagine that he was very intelligent, but his past circumstances (slavery) caused him to regress into a mental prison. I imagined that I would be sitting in his lap and he would say something like this….......


The more I’ve noticed how much things have changed, the more I am aware of how many things remain the same. We hear the songs of America’s cry for freedom, freedom from the land of their birth, the land of their brothers and sisters, freedom from separatism, a harsh caste system, and a sovereign monarch. They cried freedom! Freedom came, along with independence, but soon freedom just wasn’t enough. Someone had to do the hard work while they sat there enjoying this here freedom.

Someone decides that we should use African cattle. Us strong! Us work hard! Us can lift a heavy load, but us cant be free! They say I’s not even a man, a second class citizen, what ever that means. They allows me to fight in that war against us in the Souf and dem Yankees in the Nawf. After that I just knew that I’d gets me a taste of freedom cause I was a war hero just like the white man. Like dem, I cried freedom, but they calls me a plum fool.

During the war, my head thoughts jumped every whicha-way, but all I could think about was being free! I heard the sounds of the bass drum as its carrier drives on, yet the pounding heart of a young and scared negro soldier sounds off like a series of bursting cannons. The pale faced Sergeant yells, “Do as I say boy!” As he gazes into my large brown eyes, my eyes say Fear! My mouth says, Not! My heart cries Freedom, but my troubled mind yells Never! Well, freedom aint so free after all. Us fought in the war hoping that us would one day be like the white man. So here I sits, 78 year later, and they still call me, Boy!